Birthdays Are Overated
by water mixed flame
Summary: I actually don't know how to really summerize this. But, many things have changed over the years and Rei's birthday is coming up.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon.

A/N: Ok. I was hoping to have this as a one- shot, but it would take me too long, and I like it better as a chapter thing right now. I hope you all like it because I've been working on this for a while on and off. So now I hope you all enjoy.

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Title: Birthdays Are Overrated

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Chapter 1

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17 years. It's been 17 years since I was born into this world. And, of course , around the bend is another birthday. My 17th birthday. You know, I should be looking forward to it. I should be giddy and happy like every other school girl and begin planning the celebration of my birthday like everyone else out there. But guess what? I'm far from any other girl or just teenager in general. And in my opinion, birthdays are overrated.

The cool breeze felt good on my heated, face. I sighed, stopping what I was doing and brought up one of my toned, tanned arms to wipe the slick sheen of sweat that clung to my forehead as well as my matted, long raven bangs. My eyes shifted towards the large, majestic sun which was slowly lowering itself into the horizon, the last of its rays painting the sky the colors of a strong, ever growing fire before giving way to the breaks of the deep, night sky. It was a beautiful sight, but I had no time to just stare in awe and watch as the night take over the rest of the day, chasing the sun away. I had to work, and finish tilling the land before I could head home, to my family.

It was a few hours of hard labor later that I was finally able to finish tilling the land and more. I know it wasn't required of me to do more for the day, and I know that it would leave me running late getting home, but that didn't matter right now. I needed the money badly, so pitching in a couple more hours of work had to be done. I sighed as I strolled down the grassy pathway which I walked many times over along with other workers with a rack of logs I've chopped a half hour ago strapped to my back. I shifted it slightly on my sore back as I neared the old, traditional house, which was similar to the shrine that I lived in, that loomed ahead. The only light that led me was the moon and the stars in the sky as well as the lanterns that hung at the corners and entrance of the old home. I walked steadily to the polished, wooden porch, shuffling out of my worn, wooden sandals before hopping up onto sleek surface of the porch and sliding open the door to enter the main room of the house. Stepping inside and into the nicely lit room, I walked towards the middle matted room where a small table was situated, two cups of steaming tea sitting on its black, wooden surface, one on each side. I set my load of chopped wood by the side of the wall next to the two sliding doors then turned to step by the low table before kneeling down and waiting for my boss to arrive.

I didn't have to wait long for just a few minutes later, the door to my left slid open, drawing my attention when a man of his 50's stepped through , his grey hair, falling back in waves to around his shoulders from the large balding spot that encircled the center of his head. His tan, stern face was tight and had a nasty old scar trekking its way through his sealed left eye. His other eye, the color of grass which shone brilliantly in the suns warm embrace shown kindly, betraying the impassive expression he wore. He had a sharp, pointed, gray beard that ended where a v was made by his cloudy blue kimono which hugged his built figure that showed years of hard work and strenuous labor nicely. He nodded to me as I bowed to lowly to him in a sign of respect and made his way towards the low table, kneeling down in front of me and grasping the metal cup with both his calloused hands, inhaling the tea's natural scent calmly before taking a sip of the still hot liquid. I picked up the metal glass of tea with both hands as well and drank from it at the tilt of his head as a sign to do so. The hot liquid flowed down my parched throat invitingly and warmed my worn body. I relished the unique flavor and let out a slow breath when placing the cup down onto the black, glimmering surface of the wooden table below. I looked up and stared on as he did the same. I knew what was coming next, for this was becoming much of a routine for the both of us. A routine that I've come to look forward to.

"So, how are the young ones, Rei-san?" his deep, gruff voice asked gently while his grassy green eye looked at me, imploring me for an answer.

I smiled at the thought of the children he mentioned and replied kindly, "They're doing well. Akane is sweet as ever, though we are still trying to get over a few problems. And Haru is just as rowdy and playful as ever, even though there are still a few problems he has to work out as well."

He nodded at the soft answer, taking another sip of tea while I continued softly, "They both miss you, Higarai-san. Bothe of those little rascals are eager to come back soon."

His deep, happy laugh, boomed through the small room, bouncing off the walls and filling the air with a warmth that could be compared to a small fire. "I miss them as well, and I believe that you've been working as hard as ever to support them and yourself?"

I nodded, and smiled, "Of course, they are my children after all."

He sighed and gave me a gentle, smile that raised my battered spirits, "Yes, that they are. You know, I'll be glad to look after them once in a while whenever I'm free. Don't forget that."

"Hai." I bowed, "I'm grateful to you for helping me out this much. Thank you."

He nodded and reached into the front of his kimono, taking out a small, white envelope, tossing it onto the table, and in front of me. I took the envelope, a bit surprised by its weight and slipped it into the front of my own, kimono, bowing in appreciation of it. I stood up bowing one more time before turning on heel and walking towards the sliding doors, sliding one of them open and placing one step out onto the porch when my boss's gruff voice stopped me.

"Rei-san." he said calmly and with authority, making me stop and turn to look at him.

"Yes, Higarai-san?"

"Take care of yourself. Don't work yourself to exhaustion like you've been doing. I know that this request may never be able to be done, but at least try. You need a break and to be happy as well." He settled a stern, authoritative look, on me, his gentle, green eyes locking with my deep amethyst ones.

I smiled and inclined my head in a short bow before walking out into the night and sliding the door closed behind me firmly. Hopping from the smooth porch, and onto the dusty, dirt ground, I gathered my wooden sandals and slipped into them, tapping the front of each sandal on the ground to make sure they would stay on before dashing off into the night and down the dirt pathway on my right which led to the nearest town and bus, 5 miles away.

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I leaned my head to the side and onto the hard yet cool glass window of the bus heading towards the city of which I was now residing and sighed softly, the puff of breath, clouding a small part of the window that held my tired reflection. It was only a few miles from the small town that my boss, Higarai-san lived, so it was convenient enough to get from my small, makeshift apartment room to my job without much hassle. Of course, the job I have tilling the fields and doing other various tasks that he needed to be done was only one of the others that I have and have to keep in order to support my family and I. Not to mention to cover sending Akane and Haru to school as well as the other usual things such as food, clothes, and their other needs and what some of the things my two kids wanted. I shook myself from my thoughts and let my eyes fall upon the swiftly moving scenery that was beginning to slow down, signaling the bus was slowing down and that my stop was coming up soon.

I stood up, and stretched a little, my body aching in protest and walked to the front of the bus nodding to the driver as I did and stepped down the small set of stairs and onto the paved sidewalk that was slick and wet from the recent rainfall. I sighed as I heard the bus's door close and the large vehicle ease off, driving to the rest of its stops for the night. I took a glance at the brightly shining moon above before heading down the nearly desolate, and smoky sidewalk and towards my home. It took a few minutes, but soon I was standing in front of a large, old apartment that stood about five stories high, and had many problems to be fixed. It gave off a rundown look and feeling to it, and even though it was the worst apartment complex in the city, it was the only one I could afford at the time. I know, I know. How come I'm not back at my grandfather's shrine with him and Yuuchiro? Why am I not back with my friends and fellow senshi? Why is it that I'm away from all of that, all of them and here taking care of two kids in a nearly rundown apartment? Well, that's kind of a long story.

I shook myself out my thoughts once again, it seems as though I am lost in thoughts too much today. Of course, it could be that my birthday is coming up soon, and nothing seems to go right on that day, no matter where I am. I pushed one of the glass doors open, picking up the light sound of a small bell ringing, when I entered the musty, dirty, small lobby. I looked around taking in the worn, stained, ugly salmon colored carpet and the various, torn cushioned chairs scattered to either side of the dimly lit room. I walked to the front desk, grimacing when the land lord came out. He had unkempt, shaggy, mustard blonde hair that and reached past his shoulders. He was big, and not in the muscular way either, and wore a stained, gray T-shirt that was too small for him, and big, worn, black jeans that had several holes in them with a long chain that hung from one of the belt holes to the side of his jeans. He was pale and had large spectacles on that were so thick and dusty that you could barely see his lidded, brown eyes. I tried not to wince when I reached the desk at the stench that came off of him, and tried not to glare as he gave me a look over, smiling a bit lecherously. I kept my face an impassive mask and reached into my kimono to take out half of the money from the paycheck I had gotten from Higarai-san, tossing it on the unkempt desk to avoid handing it to him directly. I watched with a grimace as he scratched his butt before taking the money on the desk and flipping through it, counting it before shoving it in his deep pocket.

"Ah, Rei-san, it seems you've paid off your debt this time, and not a moment too soon. Really, if you didn't have the money by tonight, I'm afraid that I would have had to kick you out. And I know you don't want to be living out on the streets." he gave me a smirk before saying in a low voice, "Not to mention that I know that you don't want anything to happen to your, children."

A cold shiver went down my spine, and I settled him with a glare before saying stiffly, "I'd appreciate it if you left my children out of this, Minto-san." I took a deep breath and quelled the urge to tell him off before saying, "The money I gave you covers my debt and should cover next month's payment."

And before he could say anything else, I turned to the right and walked towards the stairway, the only way to get to the floors above and ascended quickly, leaping up a few steps each time until I got to the third floor. I creaked open the large stairway door and jogged quietly down the dimly lit, narrow hallway, a few doors down and came to a stop in front of a tall, wooden door, with the rusty gold numbers of 42 nailed on the front, the 2 slightly unhinged and dangling upside down. I sighed and took out the key to the door, taking a firm grip on the door knob and fitting the key in the slim hole, turning it and unlocking the door with a click. I slowly opened the door and stepped into the room, with only the light of several candles placed here and there to show me where to go and where everything was situated. I barely turned around after slipping my sore feat out of my wooden sandals when a blur of black came sprinting out of the side kitchen and tackling me to the ground. I smiled and laughed as another blur of black came from the corner of my eye and tackled me around the neck. I held the one that was attached to my neck and kissed its temple lovingly before looking down to the one that was attached to my leg and ruffling the little one's hair.

"Hey there, Haru," I addressed the one clinging to my leg before turning to the one now curled in my arms and clinging to my shirt, "and Akane. How was your day today?"

They both beamed up at me, their large eyes brimming with excitement, and it warmed my heart to see such happy smiles on their small, slightly chubby faces. It always brought me joy and contentment in this chaotic world whenever I could see them smile, and I would try my best to do anything to keep them smiling and happy.

"Guess what mommy!" Haru gushed, jumping from my leg and leaping to tackle me around my neck, but being careful of Akane as well, "There's a big field trip coming up soon, and I really wanna go!"

I smiled warmly at the way his large, chocolate brown eyes shown with excitement, and picked up my free hand to ruffle his slick, raven hair before moving it to pinch his cheek in a show of affection. He blushed a bright red because of it, but his smile grew.

"Do you have the paper for it so I can look at it?" I asked softly, watching as he nodded his head quickly before scampering off of me and around the corner into the small kitchen area that we had.

I took this time to resituate where Akane was on me and held her close before standing up and making my way into the kitchen as well.

"And how was your day, my little tenshi?" I asked softly in Akane's ear, stroking her glossy, raven curls that cascaded down to her shoulders. She turned to face me with warm, shining amethyst eyes , a blush painting her cheeks delicately before winding her arms around my neck and burying her face into my shoulder.

"It was good, Mama." she said softly, making me smile. I walked towards the small, wooden square of a table that we had centered in the middle of the small kitchen area, raising an eyebrow at a short, slim figure occupying one of the plastic chairs situated on each of the four sides of the table. I smiled softly and placed Akane on one of the tall, high chairs, kissing her hair softly before going down the short hall and into the small, yet roomy bedroom that the kids and I shared together. There I found Haru digging through his red, black and blue Power Ranger backpack, tossing papers here and there in an attempt to find the field trip permission slip and notice. I smiled in amusement at the sight of his little mumbling while heading towards the small closet and opening the door to reach up and fetch a blanket from the top shelf of the closet. I closed the door with one hand while I carried the thick bundle of a blanket under my other arm. I went and knelt down by Haru, telling him softly, "Haru, sweety, why don't you gather your papers and bring them with your backpack into the kitchen? I'll help you look for your permission slip in there, alright?"

Haru looked up at me and nodded, "Alright Mama. Thank you."

I smiled and kissed his head softly before getting up from the wooden floor and heading out of the room, down the short hallway and into the kitchen where I found Akane waiting patiently. I walked towards my other house guest and unfolded the blanket, laying it across the tiredly slumped form, shaking my head as the guest shifted slightly and mumbled something under their breath. It was only a few minutes until Haru came bounding out of the bedroom with his papers and his backpack, tossing them onto the table and waking the figure within the chair next to him and across from me.

The figure yawned, stretching widely, making the blanket fall from slender shoulders, before slumping in the seat and rubbing the sleep from their eyes. I watched in amusement as light, crystal blue eyes blinked dazedly before a spark of realization hit them and they opened wide, looking around quickly before landing on my slightly shaking form. Immediately, a slender hand rose to cover small, pink lips.

"Rei-chan!!" came the squeaky, surprised voice, "When did you get home? What time is it? How long was I asleep? The children didn't do anything to get in trouble did they?"

I couldn't hold in my laughter any longer, and let it out in a single burst that was joined with the laughter of my children, holding my sides when they began to ache and trying my hardest to hold in the rest of it at the sight of a firm pout playing on the face of the other girl. It took a few moments, but I took a deep breath, to calm myself down, waving my hand from side to side and giving the girl an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, Yuki." I gasped, trying to talk while laughing, "I couldn't help it." I grinned as she flipped her long, forest green high over her shoulder and crossed her arms, leaning back in the plastic chair with an indignant 'Hmph!'.

"Well," she began, giving me a side glance, "Aren't you going to answer my questions?"

I smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of my head saying lightly, "Alright, but only if you're not mad at me."

Yuki gazed at me with warm, crystal blue eyes, reaching her right hand across the tables smooth surface and grasping my left hand tightly, comfortingly. "I'm not mad at you, Rei. I know you're having a hard time right now. But, that doesn't matter because I'll always be here to support you."

I could feel heat rise to my face as she said this, and was about to thank her, but she just shook her head and continued, "I'll always be by your side. Unlike your old friends and that blonde bit--"

"Not in front of the children." I scolded lightly, a frown pulling my lips down, and my amethyst eyes narrowing at her in mock anger.

Yuki's eyes widened, and she quickly slapped her free hand over her mouth, looking from her left to right at Haru and Akane who sat at the table in that order. The two children stopped whatever they were doing and glanced at the forest- green haired girl with the curiosity of a cat.

"I'msosorry!" she exclaimed without taking a breath.

She looked back at me and I couldn't help but let a giggle escape my lips before saying, "Don't worry about it." I dismissed casually, squeezing her hand and enjoying the warmth it gave off, "As long as you don't say anything bad or curse in front of them. You know that I don't want them to be taught anything they shouldn't be taught. That would make me a bad parent if I let that happen."

Yuki smiled and nodded, "Yeah, that would make you a bad parent, but you're not. You're really the greatest mother a child could ever have, and I have to say that they're very lucky to have you in their lives."

A bright, crimson blush warmed my usually pale cheeks in embarrassment when she finished her little speech. I scratched my cheek lightly and averted my amethyst eyes away from her mirthful crystal blue eyes before saying softly, "I don't think that I'm the greatest mother a child could have. I mean, look at where we live and how we're living. If I was a great mother, I would have been able to do better."

I heard a sigh from Yuki, and turned to see her shake her head at me with narrowed eyes, annoyance obviously flashing in them as she scowled and said, "That's a total lie and you know it." She then turned to look at Haru and Akane with a sweet smile and said in an equally sweet voice, "Right?"

Haru and Akane, who wasn't paying attention to what we were talking about, and were busy going through Haru's many papers, perked up when Yuki looked at each of them and asked the question.

"What?" Haru asked with an adorable, confused look on his face. Akane also looked at Yuki with a confused look, not knowing what was going on.

Yuki smiled and asked again, "Isn't Rei the best mommy in the whole entire world?"

Almost instantaneously, Haru and Akane's face lit up at and they bounced up and down in their seats exclaiming in excitement, "Yeah!! Rei-mama is the bestest mama in the whole wide world!!"

Haru spread his arms out wide, while Akane's head bobbed up and down quickly in agreement. As I watched their reply, a strong warmth spread through me, and I couldn't help the goofy grin that spread across my face. Yuki laughed and looked me straight in the eyes, leaning on the smooth surface of the table a grin of victory in place on her face, "You see? Majority rules. And majority says that you're the greatest mommy in the world."

I rolled my eyes when the forest haired girl let out a warm laugh, before looking at the simple, circular clock on the wall and standing up from her chair.

"Well," she began, getting behind the chair and pushing it into the table, it looks like I have to go." she went to Akane, kissing her on the head before going to Haru and ruffling his hair playfully. Both giggled and waved bye, while I stood up to walk her to the door.

"Can't you stay over? It is very late after all."

We walked around the wall and into the dark living room, crossing the floor, and stopping at the front, wooden door. Yuki gave me a soft smile before leaning forward and embracing me with warm, tender arms. Pulling back, she reached her slender hands towards my caloused ones, and held them lightly, caressing the back of my hands with her thumbs in a soothing, circular motion.

"I would love to stay, but you know I can't. I have to get back home before my parents freak out. I don't want to worry them, and make them think that something happened to me. You know how they are. Worst case scenario before the best."

I smiled, knowing that she was right and nodded, "Yeah. But, I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

She giggled and nodded, "Don't worry, I'll come straight here after school is over. You wouldn't mind if Kouichi comes with me too, would you?"

I smiled lightly at the image of the tall, lanky, teen boy with short, deep midnight blue hair and warm, shy, bright mocha eyes and nodded, replying in a teasing voice, "Of course your boyfriend can tag along. Just make sure that you don't do the, y'know, when the kids are here."

I smirked widely at the veil of complete mortification that was draped over her face and had to try my best to hold in my laughter when her face bloomed into a bright crimson flame of embarrassment as she lowered her eyes shyly to the ground, holding her hands behind her back, and scuffling her foot tentatively on the floor.

"Why do you have to say things like that? You know that Kou-chan isn't like that." she murmured so softly that I had to strain my ears to catch the delicate words. "He promised that we wouldn't do it until I was completely ready." she blushed a few shades darker after that, breaking me and causing me to bend over laughing.

Hearing the ringing of my laughter, she automatically stood straight, with slender hands on hips with a pout on her lush pink lips and narrowed eyes. Slapping my arm playfully, she got my attention and I stopped laughing, gulping and sweat dropping at my fuming friend. I gave a shaky smile, rubbing the back of my raven haired head and squeaking out, "Sorry."

Yuki just rolled her eyes and continued, "Anyway," she said with a sly smirk, "What are you going to do for your birthday, it is only a few days away, right?"

At the mention of my birthday, I flinched visibly and said after clearing my throat, "Well, Haru and Akane want to go on that field trip, that's on my birthday, so I guess that's what I'm going to do."

Yuki smiled brightly and exclaimed while clapping her hands together, "Than, why don't Kou-chan and I go with you?"

My amethyst eyes looked at her uneasily for a moment, not really sure if I liked the idea or not, and as if she was reading my mind, her smile turned soft as she gazed at me in understanding.

"Just think about it, alright?" she spoke gently.

"But, it's on a school day, and I know your parents would hate it if you missed school for something like that." I said, not really trying to persuade her not to, for it would actually be nice for them to come with me, but not wanting her to get in trouble with her strict parents.

Yuki waved it off and rolled her eyes, "As if I'm going to let them talk me out of celebrating your birthday with you. For once."

I smiled a little at that, "Alright." I said in slight defeat, "You can come with us. I'll tell you and Kouichi the details tomorrow after I get home from work."

She nodded, her large crystal blue eyes sparkling with excitement, "I can't wait for tomorrow then!" she exclaimed happily before saying sing-song like, "Bye, Rei-chan!" and turning to walk away.

"Wait!" I said quickly, remembering something important.

Yuki stopped, turning back to gaze at me curiously while tucking a lock of silk, forest- green hair behind her curvy ear.

"Tell Kouichi-kun that I don't want any of his friends coming over like last time, alright? You know the only two I trust around Akane and Haru are you and him." I stated softly, gazing at the ugly carpeted hallway floor with distant, clouded, amethyst eyes.

Yuki smiled gently, understandingly and promised softly in almost a motherly way, "Alright, Rei. I promise. Goodnight, and take care, alright?"

Looking up, I smiled gratefully and nodded, "Thanks, Yuki-chan. Be careful, and see you tomorrow."

After she nodded and waved, I retreated back into my room and sighed, closing the creaky wooden door and clicking all of its rusted locks into place before turning around and allowing my back to lean on the cool door, my hands clasped behind my back. Sighing under my breath, I lowered my head, long raven strands of hair brushing past my cheek before hanging like a curtain to conceal my solemn, pale face. I shivered as a frigid cloak draped across my slumped and weary shoulders as I closed my amethyst eyes. Although I could hear the joyous sounds of Akane and Haru chatting in the background, different sounds began to fill my numb ears, chilling me to the bone as my mind rushed, sweeping me to patches of a deep, and torturing memory that I hoped to have buried so long ago.

_'Stop!!'_

_A dark, lecherous smirk from the large silhouette of a man above._

_'Please! Leave me alone!!'_

_That cold, yet enjoying laugh that rang around me as I continued to struggle, filling me with fear, panic, and nauseous._

_'Why are you doing this?'_

_Something warm and unfamiliar roughly covers my lips, as the silhouettes large hand caresses my clammy, pale cheek softly._

_A muffled scream is all that is ripped from my very being before it all goes black. _

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A/N: Yeah. Let me know what you think. I hope to get the next chapter up quickly, but with school, it may be a while. Thanks for reading! Laters.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon.

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Birthdays Are Overrated

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Chapter 2

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It was dark and cool yet so hot as the lights flashed around the small stage I was on with feet wandering and body swaying back and forth with the steady rhythm of the song that was sounding loudly through the hyped atmosphere, proclaiming a strong message. A message that came from my very soul and all though the only ones who knew this were the ones I was playing with, I still felt so very bare. My amethyst scanned the crowd that shouted, jumped, and just moved with the song and rhythm that my slim fingers created as they moved so freely, instinctively along the familiar rough, worn cords of my deep, crimson electric guitar. Taking a deep breath and inhaling the crisp air filled with such emotion, I looked up towards the stage lights that shone so brightly on me, leaving me for the world to see before closing them and losing myself in the deep, husky voice of the lead singer as he finished his song, relishing in the feeling of my fingers against rough cords as I gave one last strum.

I opened my eyes as the crowd went wild, screaming, cheering, jumping, applauding loudly. I gave a sigh as the shoulder length, neatly slicked, midnight black silky hair and striking, flashing golden eyes that was set on the face of the deeply tanned lead singer came into my view. A small frown was etched on his stern face like always as he ended the songs, a light sheen of sweat was illuminated by the bright lighting of the stage lights that hung above as he stood in front of me, hand outstretched. Blinking away the small haze I was in moments before I looked at his strong, calloused hand and stared warily at the black and silver microphone that he held tightly, knowing that it was my turn to sing. Looking up to him, I watched as he nodded his head, using his other hand to brush away his midnight bangs out from his eyes before taking my hand off the slick neck of my guitar and placing the microphone into it.

Nodding my head to him, I slipped off my guitar and handed it to him, muttering a 'Thanks Shoji.' before walking up to the front of the stage, and the cheering crowd that chanted my name over and over like a catchy rhyme. Fitting the microphone into the tall, slim, black mic-stand, I took a deep breathe, gripping the mic tightly with pale fists as I leaned forward, resting my forehead onto the smooth, yet rough netted-like surface that was the top of the mic, and began to tap my right foot, the crowd growing silent in anticipation before taking a deep breath and piercing the sudden silence with my voice.

_Stay with me_

_Won't you wait for me_

_Care for me_

_And never say never_

My hips began to sway from side to side slowly as the smooth, steadily growing rhythm of electronic sounds began to sound through the air, emplacing a sense of lightning that struck and coursed through my body as I swayed more, bobbing my head and getting lost in the hypnotizing sound. ,I inhaled deeply, raising my head and staring with intense, amethyst eyes at the eager and pumped crowd dancing and moving to the hyped yet steady beat before me, threatening to engulf me, and opened my mouth to sing again.

_Love_

_You're in my flesh and bone._

_Where ever you go I'm home_

_I'll follow you (Yeah)_

My mind traveled back, to a time that was so easy, so simple; to a time where a certain golden haired goddess awaited me from the nightmares that had always rabidly chewed through me, eventually engulfing me and leaving me distant and vulnerable. Her kind, warm, loving cerulean eyes that sparkled with joy and mischievous smirk that always played on those luscious, pink lips that ushered such a melodious voice that always warmed my heart and calmed my soul. Deep inside, even though I yearned to see that smile and those loving, cerulean jewels again, and hear that sweet, addicting voice say my name, I knew that I would not be allowed to, no matter how much I wanted to return and stay by her side.

_You're in my head _

_In my heart _

_In my soul_

_Like the air I breathe_

_You're in my head_

_In my heart_

_In my soul_

_Like the air I breathe_

_Yes you're my favorite need_

I shivered at how true these words rang in my head, echoing in my heart and through the electrified room.

'_**Rei, you silly! Of course we'll be together forever. What makes you think we won't?'**_

A dull ache began to throb deep inside me while recalling those seemingly simple and childish words that blonde goddess spoke, words that I've dreamed of for so long every night in the aftermath of every dream and nightmare. How I longed to just get a simple glimpse of her again for no matter how deeply she already embedded herself into my mind, hear and soul, I still desperately craved for her.

_I'll follow you_

_I'll follow you_

_'__**Come on Rei-chan!' the blonde goddess laughed joyously like the child she was as she ran off into the sunset, leaving me dumbfounded, 'Catch me if you can!' I smirked, my amethyst eyes twinkling as I took off in a sprint after her, watching with clouded eyes, her long, gleaming silk hair flowing behind her in the wind, etching the site into my memory forever.**_

A despaired smile made its way across my lips as I closed clouding amethyst eyes and let the unstoppable rhythm lead my body in graceful steps across the stage. '_But you're so far away now.'_ I thought in defeat, and as if the music heard my soul, it came to a near standstill.

_When everything seems lost_

_I'm stuck and falling down_

_You will guide me home_

_So promise me _

_You'll stay with me_

_'__**I promise Rei-chan!**__' _Her voice began to echo through my head.

_Won't you wait for me_

_**'I promise.'**_

_Care for me_

_**'I promise.'**_

_And never say never_

_'Liar.' _I slowly opened my eyes, the adrenaline securing me as I instinctively moved over the stage as if I've done it all my life, until I saw them. I stumbled, barely noticeable as amethyst met familiar cerulean, both surprised, one for being seen and the other for seeing.

_Stay with me _

_Won't you wait for me_

_Care for me_

_And never say never again_

The world began to haze as though nothing was there besides me and those precious orbs that I cherished always.

_No never say never_

And that was it. The song has ended, yet I was cemented to where I stood, unable to move, barely able to breathe, and it didn't go past Shoji as he followed my gaze through the mass of people, raising a slim forest green eyebrow in surprise at who I was looking at. Feeling my arm go lax, my arm fell to my side, the microphone dropping to the ground, the noise being drowned out by the deafening roar of the crowd along with my voice as the name I held dear to my heart finally left my lips after such a long time.

"Minako."

"Hey, let's go."

I looked to the left when feeling a calloused hand gently gripping my shoulder to meet the concerned blue violet eyes of our drummer, Kyone.

"What?" I asked dumbly, looking back to the unreadable cerulean eyes of the golden goddess in the crowd.

Kyone sighed, running a hand through his slick, styled back brown locks with black stripes while taking my slim wrist and carefully tugging my arm saying softly, "Come on, Shoji wants us to go for some reason."

I forced my eyes away from those clouded orbs and to the glowing golden of our lead singer who had bent down in front of me to retrieve the mic from the scuffed up wooden stage floor.

"Shoji?" I asked in confusion, still barely able to comprehend who I saw in the back of the pumped crowd.

The silky, midnight haired singer just looked at me with calm features, but I could tell by the knowing in his eyes that he knows who's here too. Stepping closer to me, gripping my shoulder sternly, he spoke in that low, velvet voice of his, "I know you don't want to face her just yet, especially without having any time to prepare yourself."

I lowered my head, feeling torn. I was relieved that he cared about me and didn't want me to get hurt, but…

"This might be the only time I'll be able to talk to her." I whispered hoarsely, my voice filled with uncertain anxiousness, "I may never get the chance to ever talk to her again, I have no reason to go back there." looking into his patient, brotherly eyes I spoke to his soul, "You of all should know that."

Shoji was silent for a moment, obviously thinking things through before sighing, ruffling my long raven locks as he passed, my eyes following as he said calmly but sternly, "Alright, I understand." he turned his head to look into my eyes, "But, we face her together. Now go with the others, I'll be there in a few minutes."

I nodded, smiling softly as he did the same, looking to Kyone and gesturing to the back of the stage with his head. Kyone nodded silently, a look of slight confusion etched on his soft, chiseled features. But, with a shrug, he led me by the wrist to the back room in the long hall behind the stage, the furthest to the right, by the exit.

"Hey!" I heard the indignant, snobbish voice of our very own bass player, Rimoto. The shoulder length, straight haired red-head situated his slick, deep ocean blue bass guitar to his back, his large hand holding onto the black leather strap tightly as he caught up to us, his green and blue sneakers clomping loudly behind him. "What's going on?"

I looked into his curious, life filled electric blue eyes and felt my spirits lift a bit.

"Shoji's going to go fetch someone." I said casually, trying hard to calm my rabid nerves, which tore through me like a tornado, tearing through New York. Major freaking out.

Rimoto grinned, "You know, it's not like he's your little doggy."

I felt my lips twitch upward on their own, "Never said I treated him like my pet, Rimoto. You know he's-"

"Oh I know!" he interrupted boisterously, sticking his nose up in the air and waving a hand back and forth as we went passed the thick, stained carpet like crimson curtain and down a small set of wooden stairs, "'He's like a brother to me!'" he mocked in a pretty good imitation of my voice, causing Kyone and I to roll our eyes, "I heard the excuse too many times!"

The three of us entered, with Kyone still in the lead, a narrow hallway with dim, hanging lights and white plastered walls, and a dull concrete floor. The sound of our footsteps echoed off the walls, as did our voices as we continued to talk.

"It's the truth, despite what you think." I grumbled, wrinkling my nose at the stale smell of the large, tin trash can at the end of the hallway by our room with several large black bulky bags filled with trash in, on top of, and around the container.

"Someone needs to take that out." Kyone stated, shaking his brown and black locks, "I don't think I could take it if that smell invades our room."

Rimoto nodded frantically in complete agreement, stopping only to pinch his nose and complain in a nasally voice, "Ugh! I'll kill Noro-kun for this if it infects my precious and awesome room!"

I rolled my eyes, poking Kyone in the shoulder to get his attention. The taller boy looked back at me with cautious blue-violet eyes and I smiled softly, "Don't worry, I'll meet you in the room. Just let me take that stuff out to the dumpster. It's just right outside."

Kyone nodded, releasing my wrist, and walked ahead, already picking up a couple of bags in each hand, kicking the door leading outside open. Shaking my head, I jogged ahead, taking a couple of the heavy things on each of my shoulders and turning to look back at Rimoto.

"I'll meet you two inside!" Rimoto said as he turned right to the door besides us and slipped inside.

"Aren't you going to help us!" I shouted in a vain attempt to get him to help.

"Sorry, Raven! It's against my policy and the law itself for me to even touch those nasty things."

I rolled my eyes, "Right, I forgot about that, Princess!" I shouted back sarcastically, going out the door, yet catching an "I take that as an insult!" from inside.

Shivering, I just walked a few feet to the two large metal green dumpsters, my warm breath coming out like white steam, and tossed the two bags I was carrying into its dark depths, dusting my hands off and turning to Kyone.

"Ready to get the rest?" I asked, looking from him to mesh of reds, orange, yellows, and violets of the sunset above the surprisingly large buildings besides and across the street from us.

Kyone followed my gaze and smiled discretely at the bright, surreal mix of colors, placing his hands deep into his large, black trench coat pockets, "It's beautiful." he breathed softly.

I wrapped my arms around myself, rubbing my hands up and down my arms to warm myself up, "It sure is." I whispered wistfully.

We stood there for a minute before looking back at each other with small smiles, "Let's go finish taking care of the trash before Princess Rim chops our heads off." I joked, bringing my hand across my neck with a mock slicing noise.

Kyone chuckled, "Yeah, we don't want him to have a heart attack, now don't we?"

I smirked as we crunched the snow beneath our feet while walking, "Of _course_ not."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Between Kyone and I, taking out the trash only took a couple of minutes tops. When we were done, we went back inside the old brick building, shaking and dusting the snow off ourselves before entering our room. But, before we did, I stopped, my hand barely touching the sleek metal knob of the messily painted multicolored door with various stickers and pictures. A dread began to fill me as I looked at the door, hesitating to go in.

"What's wrong?"

I jumped slightly at Kyone's soft, worried voice and took a deep breathe, looking down to my crimson, violet, and white Nikes before answering, "What if she refused to come? What if she did come and she's disgusted with me? Disgusted at who I've become? What if she hates me?" My fear grew and clutched at my heart with a tight and trembling hand as I felt the beginning of tears swell at the corner of my eyes, "I don't want her to hate me."

Kyone sighed, his usually unreadable blue-violet eyes growing warm and comforting, as he laid a hand on my shoulder, his deep voice trilling and consoling like a protective brother to his frightened little sister, "You won't know unless we go in. You won't know unless you see her with your own eyes and hear it from her mouth. Until then, you'll only be left in the dark. Don't put yourself through that, and don't be scared or worried, because you have me, Rimoto, and Shoji right beside you. We're family, got it? And we won't leave you no matter what."

"Promise?" I whispered slightly uncertain and cautious, feeling like a heavy burden that has been weighing me down being lifted from my nearly snapping shoulders.

From the corner of my amethyst eyes I saw Kyone smile and nod certainly, "Promise."

Taking a deep breath, I steadied my raging nerves and tried to calm my furious beating heart, I turned the cool, knob in my heated hand and opened the door, slowly stepping into the room with my eyes closed. Slowly opening my eyes, I surveyed the room, feeling my heart constrict and stomach drop, no familiar cerulean eyes nor long, golden locks. Minako wasn't anywhere in sight. I turned my head to the left to Shoji's steady but cold golden gaze, a scowl on his features as he sat, cross legged with his arm resting on the long, black leather couch's thick arm, his chin in his hand while Kyone walked by my defeated, slumping form, silently making his way to the red leather couch that lay across from where I stood.

"She's not here." I said softly, simply, not wanting to believe it but knowing that it's true, "What happened?" I asked louder, stomping towards Shoji, fists clenched into tightly shaking fists, my dull, clipped nails digging into the skin of my palm, "Why isn't she here?"

Confusion, disbelief, and hurt swirled inside me, making my head buzz, and my knees weak, shaking as I could barely stand, barely keep myself from hysteria. It has been so long since I saw any of the others back in Tokyo. It's been forever since I've had a chance to talk to them. And even though, I know she's moved on, my soul ached painfully at how much I missed and needed Minako's presence… even if she hated me.

Shoji's eyes narrowed, flashing as jerked his head to one of the two chairs at the other side of the room, a black, leather chair that could spin. The other chair was more like a throne, one that was claimed solely by and for Rimoto and his ego, its deep crimson cushions bordered by intricate golden designs, the top of the chair like a crown, and the arms and legs like a lion's paws. My teeth grit together as I backed down, my anger not lowering as I stalked to the chair, plopping down into its smooth, cool cushion. I spun around once, my arms folding across my chest before stopping to face Shoji.

"What happened?" I glowered, slumping into the chair and crossing one jeaned leg across the other.

"You knew that there was a chance that she wasn't going to come." he said passively, gazing at me calmly.

My eyes flashed as anger bubbled up, barely contained, in my chest, "What happened?" I stated more than asked sternly.

Shoji sighed, shaking his midnight locks before sitting up straight, reaching forward for his can of Honey Green Tea sitting on a navy blue cup holder off the glass table with a black iron border and legs.

"Alright." he said, taking a sip of his tea, "I'll tell you." his smooth voice floated to me like a warning… a warning that I ignored as I nodded.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

_I walked off the stage after placing the mic back on its slim stand, my golden eyes scanning the excited crowd, searching for the one with cerulean eyes as clear as the sky, and hair as golden and bright as the sun. It was no wonder to me now why Rei fell for someone as beautiful as her. I stopped, suddenly spotting her at the back with a couple of others, my guess is that they were her friends, but like I care. I made a straight path to where she was standing against the wall, not surprised that she was waiting patiently for me. _

_"Aino Minako." I stated as I stood before her, my golden eyes already observing and analyzing her. _

_She seemed surprise with the barely noticeable flinch, a golden eyebrow rising barely an inch. _

_"So you know my name." she said softly, suddenly looking down and away from my steady gaze, "Rei must have told you." _

_I noted how her voice had a twinge to it when mentioning Rei. _

_"Yeah, she told me more than just your name. What are you doing here?" I asked, slipping my hands into my black hoodie with a golden design arching dancing up to my elbow on each arm and a picture of a tiger snarling, ready to attack on the back. _

_She seemed taken aback but looked into my eyes, "Did Rei send you?"_

_My face remained impassive as I answered her question bluntly, "No. I came here of my own accord, Rei isn't ready to face you yet."_

_A flicker of what was it, anger? Lit her eyes for only a second, her petite hands forming loose fists as her melodious voice took on a bit of an edge, "So she's still hiding." she looked to the side spitting out, "Coward." and making me bristle in anger of my own._

_"And how would you know she's a coward?" I growled low in my throat, making her flinch at my sudden change. No one insulted Rei, especially with me around. She's the only one I've met who has known similar pain to mine. _

_"You don't know anything about her." I continued, my bright golden eyes darkening._

_She glared at me intensely, letting me know that I had crossed the line. But like before, I could care less._

_"You're the one who doesn't know a thing about her!" she yelled, stepping closer to me, trying to gaze straight into my eyes by inclining her head a few inches._

_"Alright," I said, reverting back to my calm self, and asking with a nonchalant shrug, "Tell me why she left."_

_Cerulean eyes widened, surprise glistening in them while lush pink, petal like lips opened and closed as the blonde tried to come back with something._

_"Oh, I'm sorry. You don't know, do you?" _

_I know I was being an ass, but I don't care about her feelings. She was one of the ones who broke the mighty raven, and I sure as heck wasn't about to take her feelings into regard. And before I knew it, my head was flung to the side, a sharp pain engulfed my cheek as the I watched the blonde's hand still in the air after the swift strike. Her head was down, long, silky bangs shrouding her eyes, her breathing shallow and irregular, and I could tell that she was on the verge of crying. _

_"Then tell me."_

_I turned my head back to her, ears easily picking up her hoarse, pained whisper._

_"Tell me why she left."_

_I stared down at her, her slim form beginning to shake with obvious tears streaming down her rosy cheeks._

_"I can't."_

_Her head lifted swiftly, looking at me with imploring, begging eyes, shedding dozens of salty tears that hurtled down her face._

_"Why?" she shouted, suddenly grabbing fistfuls of my soft, cotton hoodie, bringing me closer to her as she yelled, "Why won't you tell me!"_

_"It's for Rei to tell you." I said, tilting my head up and gazing distantly at the roof above as I reminisced the time the raven spilled everything to me. _

_"But she never will!"_

_I stared back down with a scowl tugging down on my lips, frustration beginning to crawl its way up, "She will in time. But not right now. Right now, she's barely balancing her life. She has so much to do, so much that depends on her that you have no idea. Now, you can come with me to see Rei right now and ask her, or you can leave and stop wasting my time."_

_The blonde flinched, taken aback by what I said, and slowly, her fists loosened, and fell limply to her sides. I watched with no pity as she gazed to the ground, troubled and wondering what to do before silently turning and walking away from me._

_Watching her for only a moment, I turned and walked to the band's room back stage, not once turning back to look at her. Minako's answer was clear, and that was that. _

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;

Amethyst eyes flashed and narrowed, my hand gripping the small leather pillow besides me tightly while anger coarsed thickly through my blood. I know it's not his fault, he was just being overprotective, but…

"You made her cry you jerk!" I hollered, slinging the pillow right into his face.

Shoji caught it with one hand, dropping it besides him before stating bluntly, "It wasn't my intention."

I growled, about to yell at him again when Rimoto interrupted me.

"Calm down," he said in a deadly calm voice, catching all three of our attentions. Rimoto reached for his white, decorated 'King of the World' mug and took a swig of his drink, eyes closed.

A silent minute passed, allowing me to slightly calm down, though my guard was still up, as the red head brought the mug down to cradle in his lap. His amber eyes, tinted with light orange specs opened, glancing around at everyone before locking with my amethyst orbs.

"You have to calm down, Rei. We all know you want to see her again, and you did. You should count yourself lucky that she didn't take off once she saw you walk out on stage," he said, and I bit my lower lip to the point where it almost drew blood.

He raised a hand, stopping whatever snide comment I was going to make, "Look at yourself, Rei. Can you honestly tell us that you're ready to face her, talk to her and explain why you left and whatever else she asks you?"

I opened my mouth to tell him yes, but my throat suddenly felt raw and dry, nothing intelligible would come out.

He smirked, "Again," he asked as I nodded instead of speaking, "are you ready to hear her criticism?"

I froze, closing my mouth and swallowing hard, gazing down to my lap and folding my shaking hands together. A tap to my shoulder caused me to look up and see Shoji with a simple red mug with steaming tea in it.

"Here."

I took it from his grasp, comforted by the sudden gentle glow in his golden eyes. Taking a sip, I smiled warmly at him and said softly, "Thanks, Shoji… for everything."

Rimoto scoffed, running a hand through his supple red locks before crossing his arms over his chest with his pointed nose in the air. I laughed lightly and shook my head.

"Thank you too, Rimoto," I turned from the lightly grinning red head who winked playfully at me to the silently stiff Kyone, "Thanks Kyone."

He nodded and grunted, his cool, blue-violet eyes pulsing with understanding.

"Now that we have everything settled and the concert is over," Shoji said, standing up and looking at me, "I'll walk you home."

With a start, I looked at the clock hanging on the orange wall across the room from me, eyes widening when I read the time. It was 10:35

"Oh no," I stood up quickly, placing the mug on the table's glass surface, nearly spilling it over as I rushed to the door, Shoji right on my heels with an amused smirk.

Saying a rushed goodbye to Rimoto and Kyone, Shoji and I ran out the exit to our right and sprinted out the alleyway to the bus stop, barely stopping the slowly leaving bus to get on.

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A/N: I love Shoji (and Rimoto and Kyone)! Shoji and the others were a lot of fun to work with, though a pain at times... But, Dang, it's been a long time since I've updated this one. And, it should almost be over. About three chapters to go, I think. I don't know. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this and know that many things will be made clear in the future. Just not right now. Thank you all for reading this, and hopefully I'll have the next chapter up soon enough. Laters!

(Please forgive grammar and spelling errors in story)

**SPEACIAL THANKS TO:**

xXMimiXx, MinaRayeFan, jemshell, youte, and Whirlwind of Flames and Love!

The support really means a lot to me, so thank you very much!


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